Hey girl,
I know your heart is broken, and you're putting on that smile like you always do... like you're supposed to do. I want to tell you it will never hurt like that, again. But it gets worse. I know you're confused about what you want in life, and you hope stepping into the real world will give you some form of instant clarity.
But it gets worse.
You fall in love again. And again. And again. And then, you fall in love and think you found "the one." You think the heartache is over, because you "sealed the deal" with a couple of rings and an eternal promise. But it gets worse. Your heart shatters into a million pieces. Fortified walls go up around your heart to protect you. You live in absolute, utter chaos. No one gets in. Sound scary? That's not the worst of it.
You break the hearts of those who mean the most to you. You leave a wake of destruction trailing behind you, for years. People try to get close, but you don't even know how to let them in. You spend countless hours trying to figure out what is wrong with you. You stew over it. "Where did it all go wrong?" "Why am I a failure?" "Why can't I ever get anything right?" "Why can't I have the things I desire?" You dance with the devil on multiple occasions. You almost give up the fight a number of times. Your life hangs by a thread for years on end. You feel lonely, scared, afraid of your own thoughts, resentment that you are still alive, and various levels of despair. You live in a constant state of pain and longing for the person you know you truly are.
But it gets better...
You FINALLY learn to love yourself. You figure out you actually won't die if you don't have a boyfriend... or a horse. You learn to love being alone with your own thoughts. You learn to love your music, again. It's been a while since you had that, right? You learn to let what is just be. You stop analyzing everything. You stop trying to control everything. You find your real identity. You figure out your true purpose. You learn what it's like to allow God to love you. You learn how to let yourself connect with people. You learn to form real relationships. You learn what it's like to feel peace - to feel true happiness and contentment.
You figure out that what you want for yourself is actually what is right for you - not what everyone thinks you should be. You realize you're actually a really good person, with a really big heart. You are a spiritually sensitive being, and you finally accept and embrace that as one of your super-powers. You become so full of positive energy that you don't know how to contain it, at times. You realize you can do things that will make a positive difference in the world. You stop hiding your talents, and selling yourself short. You step into your greatness, and become everything you're meant to become. You finally learn how to allow everything you've ever wanted into your life. And you help countless others to do the same.
Keep going. The best is yet to come. You are love, and you are LOVED.
Love,
You at 26
